Biscuits my peeps, are NOT just a momentary snack they can be a true life saver– unless you eat them everyday, and as a result are having trouble breathing, yeah, you might need to see someone about that.
So let’s not point out the obvious, that healthy alternatives like nuts, and fruit are much better for us, cause’ we all know that- lets instead indulge a writers need for caffeine and shortbread, because today’s post is all about the BISCUIT, a no holds barred, lovely crumbly biscuity posty. So there!
Let’s do this….
My Top 5 writing biscuits x
1. Jammy dodger
The perfect procrastination biscuit, it’s the jammy centre which allows you time to chew forever like a cow in a field, mulling over and dissecting your writing. Then, just before hitting the key pad, it forces you to pick the jam out of your teeth for a further 8 mins and 43 sec’s.
This is a proper dunking biscuit, and if you’ve eaten half the pack you probably haven’t written a thing, NOT a good biscuit for writers block, but it will make you feel all warm and squidgy inside, and ok a bit vomitty- there I said it.
‘Who’s in the bathroom??? I may have swallowed a kitten!!!’
3. Cream custard
You’re on a writing roll! So much so, you’ve got time to stop, twist the top half of the biscuit off the top, and lick the cream inside then jump straight back in, chapter 4, second paragragh….
‘She opened her hand and in it lay a bourbon biscuit, broken beyond measure. Suddenly everything changed.’
4. Ginger nuts
Writers block has hit hard! You haven’t been able to write for three weeks! These nuts may just do the trick, gingerly firing you up, and forcing you to write the most surreal crap known to man, then BOOM!!!! The magic strikes, you’ve got your mojo back baby!
The Scots have got this biscuit thing down. Why? Because their’s comes wearing a tarten jacket. I swear, when I see a packet and I want to do a little bagpipe jig.
A perfect biscuit for when you’ve finished a hardcore session of reading, or writing! Hmmm, bring on the hot cohcolate you deserve it…Or not lol.