Let me put this whole thing into context before I start.
So, I sent my first manuscript to a publisher a few months ago, they liked it -they were even thinking of taking me and it to the London art fair, they asked to see more. Meanwhile an agent from another mother got involved who also liked it, but…and there’s always a but it just wasn’t for them in the end. So here I am, a sitting duck on the slippery road to no mansville….Waiting for ‘want to see more’ peeps to get back to me.
I’m not exactly waiting by the phone or anything, but every time it trills in its bright ring of a voice “An E-mail has just come through, see to it will you love!!!!!” my jaw grips, and I hold my breath until, I see that its a teeth whitening coupon from Groupon 70% off, BARGAIN yeah! That’s when I begin partying with a limp balloon and smooshing cake in my mouth, hmmm sexy yah…I guarantee you no Sexy lives here, and if they did they have moved a couple of doors down.
OK….So this has been going on for a while, and I’m actually considering using that coupon, cause all that cake is getting stuck into my teeth and leeching onto my belly, heaps of the stuff, bulging, and overflowing…Too much information?
What I’m trying to say is that I just can’t seem to put a ring on it, I can’t tell if that BRINNNNG! is a divorcee’s sapphire ring going for a pretty penny on E-bay or a marriage proposal from a possible agent/publisher.
12pm at night
I’m relaxed, lying horizontally in bed to be precise, with a long string of dribble trickling out the side of my mouth like a mildly drunk poodle…
BRINNNNNNNG!!!….I pick up the phone, focus blurry. Trying to look at messages.
Groupon: 20 sessions of Burn me up Yoga while wearing a knitted jumpsuit. E-bay: Selling sapphire ring -Sellers note: ‘A ring for failiure on an epic scale, best wishes losers’ BUY NOW!!! no refunds. Discount enlargement: For pen-
Woa woa! Skim down..Skimming……PUBLISHER
Message sent: 7.04pm [Must have missed it!]
‘Sorry its taking so long to respond to your mail Sabrina. I love your writing voice and would be happy to see any other projects, you may come up with….’
My eyes scroll down the screen, yes, but, BUTTTTTTTT????? I realise screaming BUTT in my head could wake up my own, so I try my best to keep the noise down.
‘butttttttt I’m sorry not to be able to take this particular story-‘
My heart sinks, jaw grips then unlocks. I pop the phone back down on the bedside table, and go back to important dribbling pose…
Sure I feel slightly gutted, but I would be stuck in cloud cuckoo land if I stopped writing because of it; To be honest I feel more sorry for my ego, it seems to get hit the hardest. The other thing is, I don’t do ‘giving up’ very well, so…I don’t.
Yes, I’m sure there’ll be more bad rings to come, because even when it does ‘happen’ there are no guarantees the publisher in question will want to keep you on, will think that you are a hot ticket, saleable, viable, readable, and a hundred other ‘ables’ you can think of. So, unless you decide to take destiny into your own hands, I guess we’ll always be requesting the wedding DJ to play Beyonce’s little diva of a ditty ‘Put a ring on it‘ because we’ll just never know what kind of ring it’ll be.
Will keep you updated ;-] but in the mean time, I would love to hear what your experience has been with rejection and how you have stayed positive? This kind of discussion is always helpful to others who may think they are alone, sharing experiences will let them know, that this is simply untrue.
Thank you for reading!